


you'll never change what's been and gone

by eliiiwhyyy



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Fluff, I guess it could be seen as a 5+1 fic, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Oasis, Read at ur own risk??? I guess, Self-Esteem Issues, Songfic, Stop Crying Your Heart Out, Suicidal Thoughts, This is mainly between Luke and Shane, implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 07:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliiiwhyyy/pseuds/eliiiwhyyy
Summary: shane didn't think that he would end up becoming friends with luke of all people, but he's glad that he did





	you'll never change what's been and gone

**Author's Note:**

> hey im not dead ha ha  
> i really really love luke with a passion but there's so much you can write with him so i got this idea in my head
> 
> this fic is based off the song and includes lyrics from 'stop crying your heart out' by oasis, i highly recommend you listen to the song while you read
> 
> also majorly sorry to those expecting updates from me!! ill get around to it i promise ive just really needed a break from writing 
> 
> haha this is a vent fic also :)

_Cause all of the stars, are fading away_

 

Shane knew that Hana knew about his ‘safe space’, where he went to be alone and away from everything, but in retrospect he should have known that someone else would stumble upon it sooner or later. He just hoped it would be later.

 

So when he was up there, one day, and heard the door to the roof creak open, he fully expected Hana to walk out and be looking for him.

 

He didn’t expect it to be Luke Sizemore, from their rival group, timidly pushing the door open and looking more vulnerable than Shane had ever seen him. The taller boy looked up, his eyes locking on Shane, and Shane watched as they grew wide when he realised that someone else was up here with him.

 

“Oh I’ll-” he cut himself off, awkwardly gesturing to the door he was now in front of. “Sorry Shane, I didn’t realise you’d be up here. I’ll go-”

 

Shane shook his head. He hadn’t ever seen the boisterous and confident Luke so anxious. He kept his face passive as he shrugged. “I don’t own the roof, you’re free to be here if you need to be,” he said simply, voice and face blank as usual.

 

He watched as Luke stood there for a moment longer, before his head dipped slightly in a nod and he walked over to the edge. Shane was worried that he might try and climb the railing, but instead the rapper simply sat down cross-legged in front of the railing instead, blue eyes gazing out at the sky. He turned back to his drawing, staying silent as he gathered that Luke simply needed time to think; something that Shane understood well.

 

“Do you ever wonder about how it’d feel to fly?” Luke’s voice cut through the silence after about ten minutes, and Shane’s head shot up at the weird question.

 

He looked over at the other boy, noticing that Luke wasn’t even looking at him, but instead was staring out at nothing. “Humans aren’t meant to fly,” he grunted instead, not sure how to approach the situation. He wouldn’t say it or show it, but he was a bit concerned about Luke.

 

Luke smiled that time, and laughed a little. “You know what I mean, Shane.”

_Just try not to worry, you’ll see them someday_

 

It was a week until Luke had come up to the roof again, and during that time Shane couldn’t help but feel worried. After Luke’s odd question he had fallen silent again, and left after an hour. The Brit had then taken to watching Luke more carefully when they were near each other, and noticed that his smile (the one expression that was usually genuine) seemed more strained and broken with each day, which made Shane wonder how Luke was really doing.

 

He was drawing, as usual, when the door to the roof opened slowly. He didn’t have to look up to know that it was Luke again, as the boy shut the door and walked over to his spot by the railing, this time a bit closer to where Shane was.

 

Shane heard the other boy take a shaky breath, but otherwise he was silent again. He was quiet for a few more minutes, until he opened his mouth again.

 

“You never answered my question, Shane.”

 

The Brit looked up, glancing at Luke. The taller of the duo, in question, was looking directly at him; bags under his eyes and the pupils wide. He sighed, closing his sketch book and coming over to sit next to Luke. “Humans aren’t meant to fly, Luke, I told you,” he said simply, feeling Luke’s eyes on him.

 

He heard another small laugh, but this time it sounded choked. “I know,” Luke said softly, putting his hands in his lap. “But it would hurt, wouldn’t it?”

 

Shane blinked, looking at him. He could see Luke was looking down at the far-away ground, and it made something inside Shane feel uneasy.

 

“It would,” he replied, hoping his voice didn’t show his concern or unease. “Are you… Okay?” he asked instead, hoping that it wouldn’t deter the boy from answering him. He knew that he wasn’t the easiest person to talk to, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t at least listen if he needed to.

 

Luke hummed, his dull blue eyes looking directly at Shane this time. “You’re the first person to ask that,” he said, a small grin on his face (and Shane could see that it was a bit more genuine).

 

“I’m fine.”

 

_Take what you need, and be on your way_

 

Their next encounter was a few days later, but it wasn’t on the roof. Shane had been sitting with the Normal Boots group (and their regular add-ons, Hana and Mai) when Mai had waved someone over.

 

He looked up and to his surprise it was Ian and Luke (he shouldn’t be surprised, though, because Jeff spent a lot of time with the Normal Boots club because of PBG). He eyed the two for a moment, noting that while Ian looked normal, Luke was a bit off. He figured it was because he had spent some time with the rapper, as he noticed that everyone else looked at him the same.

 

“How’s the new song coming along?” Hana asked quietly, and Luke’s face genuinely lit up at the sound of his music.

 

The rapper grinned, glancing at Shane for a moment before turning back to the pink-haired girl. “It’s alright. Mind if I show you what I have so far?” he asked her, smiling when she nodded and stood up.

 

Shane watched, as Luke turned to him. “You wanna come Shane?” he asked, surprising everyone-including Ian- at the table. He blinked, searching the other boy’s face, and he could instantly see that behind his smile was a hopeful look, that he genuinely wanted Shane to hear his music.

 

“Sure,” the Brit said simply, shrugging off Jon’s arm as he stood up to follow Hana and Luke. He was surprised to see that Ian wasn’t following, but figured that it was something Luke didn’t want to show his best friend.

 

He could feel Jeff and Ian staring at his back as he walked behind Luke and Hana.

 

_And stop crying your heart out_

 

The next time they met was at night time, when everyone was sleeping. Shane was up late working on something, as he couldn’t sleep, when he heard it.

 

A small, polite knock on the door.

 

It was so quiet that Shane thought for a second that he had imagined it, but he knew that he hadn’t so he got up and opened the door slightly, seeing that it was in fact Luke out the front of his room.

 

“Sorry-” Luke cut himself off, sniffling a bit as he pulled his hat down. “I know it’s late and I know we aren’t really friends- or that you probably don’t see me as a friend- but I need someone right now and you’re the only person I trust to talk to about this-” he rambled, voice choking up near the end and it was only then that Shane realised what had been different.

 

Luke had been crying. Actually crying.

 

Shane glanced back at his roommate, saw he was still asleep, before he put his shoes on and grabbed his key to join Luke out in the hallway.

 

He closed the door behind him, noticing that Luke was holding himself in such a vulnerable and open way, and it made Shane’s heart crack. Though he didn’t like to show it, he had come to care for Luke even though they had barely interacted before this.

 

“Sorry you don’t-” Luke was cut off by a glare from Shane, and the Brit grabbed his hand to lead him outside of the dorms down to the field.

 

Though it was late at night, he knew that they weren’t meant to be here, but it doesn’t matter. Luke needed the attention and Shane didn’t want to wake his roommate up with this, so being outside was best.

 

He sat Luke down on one of the benches, then sat beside him, still holding the other boy’s hand. He could feel the wetness and the blood underneath Luke’s sleeves, but didn’t say anything. He knew that he’d talk to the boy about it, but for now this was all he could do.

 

“I’m sorry,” Luke whispered, his head bowed. Shane could see tears dripping from his eyes, and he sighed.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said, keeping his voice soft and hushed. He looked back at Luke again, before reaching up and taking his black hat off.

 

Surprisingly, Luke let him. Shane knew that was a big leap of trust for him, since he’s pretty sure only Ian gets to see Luke without his hat off, so he took care while he did so, putting the cap on Luke’s lap instead.

 

“You’re not okay,” Shane said, letting some of the concern seep into his voice this time. “You’re not okay, Luke, and it’s not good to hide that. You know that.”

 

Luke laughed, but this time it wasn’t like his loud and cheery laugh, or his quiet little chuckle. No, this time it was choked up and broken, like he didn’t have the energy to do so. “I’m not okay, am I? Normal people don’t ask about flying. Okay people don’t think about hitting the ground.”

 

“No,” Shane agreed, shaking his head. He felt arms around him, and was surprised to feel Luke holding on to him. Realistically, he would have pushed him away and yelled at him for hugging him, but he instead relaxed into the embrace. He knew the rapper needed this. “But no one wants you to fall, Luke. So you’re not going to.”

 

He felt Luke nod, felt a smile grow on his face, and Shane felt accomplished.

 

Luke was far from okay, he knew that, but it was a start. It was something they could work on, together, as long as Luke needed him and everyone else.

 

_We’re all of us stars, we’re fading away_

_Just try not to worry, you’ll see us someday_

_Just take what you need, and be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

 

The next night, Shane received two texts.

 

One was from Ian, and Shane was a bit annoyed that the Hidden Block member had somehow gotten his number, but his annoyance faded when he saw what it was. It was a picture of Luke, curled up on his bed fast asleep, with his hat to the side and a smile on his face. He saw that Ian had added a simple ‘thank you’ on the end, and Shane wasn’t entirely sure how Ian knew that it was him.

 

The other was from Luke, containing a song file simply titled ‘I Will Make It’.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me (and prompt me!) at begone-nathan on tumblr


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